Rant #24: Hashtags on Facebook
Posted 4.5.2012
(Slightly Updated 5.4.2012)
ANNOYANCE LEVEL: 3
#newrage! Yeah, you see that? That's a hashtag. You know what they are? They're a motherfucking search feature that is built into Twitter. They have NO USE being used on Facebook. Facebook is completely incapable of recognizing them or using them for anything. There's no "trending now" on Facebook. There's no "search" feature on Facebook where you can input keywords and have it search through hashtags for related posts (though I believe they have talked/are talking about adding that). Let me rephrase what I've said so far: They are completely fucking useless to Facebook. Using a hashtag on Facebook is as useful as using a cactus to wipe your ass.
If you use hashtags on Facebook, your ISP should revoke your internet usage rights. Mark Fuckerberg himself should come to your house and punch you in the dick. If you don't have a dick, he'll punch your breast, hard, while you're on your period, and you know that shit hurts. My own sister hashtags her Facebook posts quite frequently (le sigh), as well as several other people that are on my friends list. After you people read this, there's no more excuse for that shit unless I see a "via [insert Twitter app/gadget/site here]" attached to your post. Even when I tweet with a hashtag, knowing it will post to Facebook as well, I go to Facebook post-Tweet, remove that status, and repost the same thing without the hashtag. I think my Twitter also posts to MySpace, but MySpace is dead, so who gives a nutting fuck about hashtags over there.
What's equally annoying is that whenever you tell someone they're an idiot for using hashtags on Facebook, they have to try and be funny by commenting with a hashtagged response. It's been done, you're not original, GTFO.
Hashtag usage on Facebook is solely Twitter's fault. They invented the damn things. I accept that. But it doesn't mean you sheep should continue using them on Facebook (or YouTube, or anywhere else that doesn't support them for that matter). The only reason they even made it to Facebook is because of the apps that are capable of linking Twitter and Facebook, causing things you post via Twitter to also be posted to Facebook, sooo, if you were to use a hashtag in a tweet, it would appear on Facebook too. So my theory is, some idiots started seeing these and said "Oh, that must mean that's what their post is about. Neat, I'ma do that too!" NO! BAD! While hashtags ARE basically keywords for what the tweet is about, you can actually go to Twitter and search for stuff you're interested in, and if used properly, the hashtags people tweet will find you posts relevant to that subject.
YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT WITH FACEBOOK, SO STOP USING HASHTAGS THERE, YOU STUPID FUCKS!
If you use hashtags on Facebook, your ISP should revoke your internet usage rights. Mark Fuckerberg himself should come to your house and punch you in the dick. If you don't have a dick, he'll punch your breast, hard, while you're on your period, and you know that shit hurts. My own sister hashtags her Facebook posts quite frequently (le sigh), as well as several other people that are on my friends list. After you people read this, there's no more excuse for that shit unless I see a "via [insert Twitter app/gadget/site here]" attached to your post. Even when I tweet with a hashtag, knowing it will post to Facebook as well, I go to Facebook post-Tweet, remove that status, and repost the same thing without the hashtag. I think my Twitter also posts to MySpace, but MySpace is dead, so who gives a nutting fuck about hashtags over there.
What's equally annoying is that whenever you tell someone they're an idiot for using hashtags on Facebook, they have to try and be funny by commenting with a hashtagged response. It's been done, you're not original, GTFO.
Hashtag usage on Facebook is solely Twitter's fault. They invented the damn things. I accept that. But it doesn't mean you sheep should continue using them on Facebook (or YouTube, or anywhere else that doesn't support them for that matter). The only reason they even made it to Facebook is because of the apps that are capable of linking Twitter and Facebook, causing things you post via Twitter to also be posted to Facebook, sooo, if you were to use a hashtag in a tweet, it would appear on Facebook too. So my theory is, some idiots started seeing these and said "Oh, that must mean that's what their post is about. Neat, I'ma do that too!" NO! BAD! While hashtags ARE basically keywords for what the tweet is about, you can actually go to Twitter and search for stuff you're interested in, and if used properly, the hashtags people tweet will find you posts relevant to that subject.
YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT WITH FACEBOOK, SO STOP USING HASHTAGS THERE, YOU STUPID FUCKS!
Are you still confused about if it's okay to use a hashtag on Facebook or not? Allow me to aid you with this simple pie chart that will explain everything.
Any questions?
#FUCKYOUrFacebookHashtags!
Edit: So, now you can use hashtags with Facebook. They work! But guess what? It's still a stupid fucking idea, so don't fucking do it. Ever.
Why? Because nobody gives a fuck about your hashtags, that's why. Go cry, emo kid.