No Heals (2017 ver.) - Parody of No Air by Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown
Written by Darth Boots
Dedicated to Nevara Lunasea

Inspiration from my MMO life companion spawned this. It took one hour to write. If you need context, it's set in the world of Final Fantasy XIV. I rewrote this a bit in September of 2017 (old version here) because I didn't like certain parts of it (notably how Aida/Nevara switch lines at certain points. Aida was always intended to sing parts Chris had and Nev to have Jordin's, but it was an oversight when I rather hastily wrote it the first time. This version took another two hours or so to fix due to distractions and struggling to 'fix' a line I ultimately didn't even change at all, instead opting to change lines around it to make a little more sense with the line I was struggling to fix.)

On a side note, Nev and I have no romantic relationship between us. It was just a fun project I had an idea for one day, since we've been longtime cohorts in a couple of MMOs and a few other games, and we did most of our first period of FF XIV as a tank/healer combo. Nowadays I still mostly retain the tank role, but she's moved away from healing so much and runs DPS instead. And yes, we still play on a pretty regular basis together.

leves = levequests. It's pronounced like "leave".


[Nevara]
Tell me how you're supposed to live with no heals...

If I should die before the boss
It's 'cause your enmity was lost
Losing me is like living in a world with no heals.
Oh

[Aida]
Logged in, alone, didn't wanna sleep.
XP won't move, FATE incomplete.
Wish there was a way that I could make you understand.

[Nevara]
But how do you expect me
to quest alone without thee?
'cause my life depends upon you keeping the mobs off of me.

[Both]
Tell me how I'm supposed to live with no heals.
Can't win, can't tank with no heals.
It's how I feel whenever you ain't near.
It's no heals, no heals.
Got me out here in the dungeon so deep,
Tell me how you gonna win without me?
If you ain't here, I just can't leve.
It's no heals, no heals.

No heals, heals (x4)

[Aida]
I Maimed, I Flashed, Provoked, for you
Taunt all the mobs away from you.
There's no enmity to hold them onto you.

[Nevara]
But somehow I'm still alive tonight.
You took aggro, and I survived.
I don't know how, but I don't even care.

[Both]
So how do you expect me
to quest alone without thee?
'cause my life depends upon you.
It's so hard for me to leve.

[Aida]
Tell me how I'm supposed to live with no heals.
Can't win, can't tank with no heals.
It's how I feel whenever you ain't near.
It's no heals, no heals.
Got me out here in the dungeon so deep.
Tell me how you gonna win without me?
If you ain't here, I just can't leve.
It's no heals, no heals.

No heals, heals (x4)
No more

It's no heals, no heals

Ohhhhhh

[Aida]
Tell me how I'm supposed to live with no heals.
Can't win, can't tank with no heals.
It's how I feel whenever you ain't near.
It's no heals, no heals.
Got me out here in the dungeon so deep.
Tell me how you gonna win without me?
If you ain't here, I just can't leve.
It's no heals, no heals.

No heals, heals (x4)

[Aida]
Tell me how I'm supposed to live with no heals.
Can't win, can't tank with no heals.
It's how I feel whenever you ain't near.
It's no heals, no heals.

[Nevara]
Got me out here in the dungeon so deep.

[Aida]
Tell me how you gonna win without me?

[Nevara]
If you ain't here, I just can't leve.

[Both]
It's no heals, no heals.


No heals, heals (x4)

 

 


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