That the shake machine at work is an asshole. It really is. It is self-aware, and it is a total dick. There are a few reasons why I say this.

First and foremost, if you're trying to sweep the floor, and you have some dirt or paper or whatever, and you stop sweeping in front of it for any fucking length of time whatsoever, the fans will kick on and blow that shit all over the place. It will happen without fail every single time. I swear the fans had just kicked on and turned off, so I figured i...
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