Rant #14: Celebrity 'News'

 Posted 10.11.2010


 Okay, so I saw this on Yahoo one day (the 25th, to be precise)...

...and my first thought was, 'Why in the name of fuck is this news?'

Like... seriously. Why? Who the fuck cares what two random celebrities wore to a fucking premiere that precisely none of us were at? It's retarded what our society considers news these days. Like "Omg this celebrity wore a terrible dress to some event!" Like what the shit? Isn't there something more important we can be concerning ourselves with, rather than this useless info? I don't have THAT much to say about this topic, but for fuck's sake... if these people put their energy into something worthwhile... like helping out your fellow man, y'know, something worth a cock?... We'd all be in a better world for sure. Also featured in this day's news:

"Lindsay Lohan released from jail." -- What a dumb bitch... shouldn't have gone there in the first place, but reading about her release is not (even) on my priority list. Nor will it be. Ever.

"American Idol favorite gets engaged." -- Thousands of people are engaged every day. Tons of those don't ever get married. Even more get divorced after marriage. But omg, an American Idol star getting married?! Shit, that's worth my time. So is playing golf in a severe thunderstorm, yeah?

"Watch dog play accordion" -- This one is forgivable because everyone needs cute videos in their day, though it would be better if it were a cat. MEOW.

"Celebs billionaire boyfriends" -- ... Thanks. Remind us all once again that no matter how much we slave away at our shitty jobs, we'll never have more money than these celebrity girls, not to mention their even richer boyfriends. I love hearing about this. Let me take time to read that story right now.

Bottom line is: Cool story, bro. Nobody gives a shit. Give us some real news, like... important shit. I could touch more points on this, like how sports news is hit and miss -- sports is a big thing in this country, and it entertains millions (not me, but hey), so news relating to it can be forgivable, but that's what fucking ESPN and shit is for. Focus on the important shit, news people, or else I'm going to say


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