Rant #30: It's Not Even Funny...
Posted 10.11.13


God, I haven't updated this site in so long it's not even funny...

That line right up there... see that? THAT'S what this bitch is about. I may or may not have stated somewhere that I hate cliches in general, but this one really puts the balls in my mouth*. I really want to slap a bitch when they say this (and yes, it's mostly girls that I've observed using this idiotic line). "God I hurt so much it's not even funny." "I'm so broke it's not even funny."

WHY THE FUCK WOULD IT BE FUNNY IN THE FIRST PLACE?! That's my biggest annoyance with this stupid ass line, almost every time it's used by someone, they're using it to describe a situation that is completely devoid of humor to begin with.

"Man, the other day I cut my arm off with a chainsaw. I bled so much it's not even funny."

"Did you hear about that busload of nuns that flew off the cliff? So many of them died it's not even funny."

Thal's balls in a knapsack, it's so stupid it makes me want to go spit on a fish just so I can feel more intelligent after having had my brain subjected to this terrible phrase. One of my previous girlfriends used this line constantly, and literally every time I'd reply "Why would it be funny in the first place?" It annoyed her a bit I think, but you know what, NFBG**.

If you use this line on a regular basis, you deserve to be fed nothing but soggy dickcheese with a glass of cow piss to wash it down for the rest of your days. It's a terrible waste of breath and you should be placed in a vat of battery acid (or Coca-Cola, it will have the same effect) and left there until your bones turn to goop. You deserve to be forced to watch your favorite movie, but on six screens at once, and all of them will run about one second apart from each other so that their sound and pictures echo horribly (trust me, it's very annoying - have you ever tried to play the same song on two pieces of stereo equipment at the same time and you can't get them to sync properly? It's like that...) and there will be nothing you can do about it. Oh, and Pound on my Cupcake... err, Muffin will be playing constantly in the background of each one. Yeah.

Fuck that line. Fuck whoever came up with that line. Fuck each and every letter in that line, and if you use that line, then
FUCK YOU so bad it's not even funny!
Why WOULD it be funny in the first place?

*no homo
**No Fucks Be Given

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