That the shake machine at work is an asshole. It really is. It is self-aware, and it is a total dick. There are a few reasons why I say this.

First and foremost, if you're trying to sweep the floor, and you have some dirt or paper or whatever, and you stop sweeping in front of it for any fucking length of time whatsoever, the fans will kick on and blow that shit all over the place. It will happen without fail every single time. I swear the fans had just kicked on and turned off, so I figured it was safe to sweep up some receipts off the floor. WRONG. As soon as I got those bitches in front of that fucknut machine, bam, fans on, receipts back under the counter where I had just pulled them from. Seriously, I'm not making this shit up. You can ask anyone that works front line, they'll back this up.... either that, or Dave, our store owner, is watching us on the cameras from home (yes, he can do that, the camera system is that cool) and has a switch by his computer to remotely activate the fans and does it for the lulz...

Secondly, it has a sensor that tells it when to stop dispensing shakes to avoid overfilling the cup. Does this always work? Yes, it does. Unless you're counting on it to work and walk away from the damn thing. Then it says "Oh yeah? You really have that much faith in me? Yeah well fuck you you skadooshbag, watch this shit." and it won't shut off. I had this happen just the other day, I was actually expecting it to fail too so I was sort of keeping my eye on it, and when it did I had to go into crazy freakout mode and yell for Sarah to turn it off. =) But we both got a big laugh out of it at least.

Seriously... take caution around our shake machine. It is watching you.